Fall and New Beginnings - To Grieve and Begin Again

Hello – it has been a couple of weeks and I have missed talking to you.  Hope you are well and enjoying the transition from summer to fall.  I love fall weather so this is my favorite time of year.  I love the changing of the colors, signaling death but also the beginning of new life.  Winter will provide just enough of a freeze to kill off things but also the impetus for new growth that we will see in the spring.  It’s a great time – a great time to celebrate new beginnings, or at least the promise of a new beginning.

As I consider the fall season and all that occurs during this time my mind has shifted to grief, and specifically those I know who are grieving.  For those of you that don’t know, I can say that I am a griever.  I have lost some significant people, things and situations in my life.  I also took training and became certified as a Grief Recovery Specialist in 2000, allowing me to conduct grief recovery support groups.  I just recounted some of my story to persons who are in my current group, letting them know I have conducted groups for a long time and have had the privilege of assisting persons through the grief process and setting them on the path to recovery.  During my time as a grief recovery specialist I have come to learn that I have a passion for assisting persons who are heart-broken and, in my opinion, need to be reconnected to the True Vine and the real source of their peace and comfort – God (read John 15:1-9.  This will give you some context to my statement about the True Vine).

Grief is a natural and normal response to a loss of any kind – this statement comes for the manual “The Grief Recovery Handbook”, written by John W. James and Russell Friedman.  The problem is we don’t see grief as natural or normal.  We do all we can to push it down, ignore it or dismiss it.  Those around us do the same thing.  We have an expiration date for our grief – friends and family will only give us so long to grieve.  They don’t want to see us in pain, but they also have not admitted their uneasiness with our pain.  Instead, they want us to get “over it”.  People believe it’s time to move forward with life and forget about all that pain and suffering associated with losing a husband, a child, a relationship or a friend.  Unfortunately, it is not that easy.  Unfortunately, it was never meant to be that easy!

I teach people that grief is not just associated with death of a loved one.  If I lose my favorite pet to death, or break a leg or grapple with recent news of a serious illness, I suffer grief.  I also teach people that grief is a hallway, not a new living place.  If we follow the analogy of the hallway, I want to say one other thing about it – this hallway is not meant to be sprinted through, but walked through, allowing each step to be one step closer to healing and recovery - discovering your new normal.  There is a blessing in the journey.

When I ponder some of the important messages grief provides to us today I want you to hear this message – you can recover from grief.  Do not misunderstand me, I am not saying to sprint or run through your grief experience.  One of the myths of grief is time heals all wounds.  This statement is untrue.  The truth is it takes time to heal, but the passage of time does not guarantee healing.  You must choose to recover.  You must choose to take the steps necessary to walk through your hallway and once you come out on the other side, embrace better times.

Your choice to recover takes the form selecting a strategy for healing.  Seek the services of a counselor or join a grief group, talk with friends and family about ways they can help you, especially on the low days when your memories of the past will cloud your prospect of your future or confuse you choices for today.  Choose, each day, to recover.  Liken your journey to the same one AA members take as they confess their predisposition to alcohol but in the same way declare that alcohol will not define or limit the promises for today and prospects for tomorrow.  Choose.

If you find yourself in a place of grief, you are not alone.  I am where you are.  I may not know exactly how you feel (which I don’t) but I am choosing the life of recovery each day.  If you want to begin the journey to come out of your hallway and discover the newness awaiting you on the other side, I can help.  I can get you start a strategic plan.  So many people would love to help you (especially me)!

If you are reading this and want assistance to begin the journey, you can respond to this blog or email me directly at Psalm139Designed@gmail.com

Now for my “Monica from Touched by An Angel” moment – God loves you!  Love yourself and make choices which allow you to pour more love on you – you are worth it!  Have a great week until we talk again.

Redeemed - Paid in Full (Another Tea and Tuesdays Edition)

 

As I chose my tea for the day – I needed something different, so I am trying a cinnamon tea that is rich in darkness and flavor.  This tea is flavored so it needs no sugar.  It is a good companion on this day as I reflect on the weekend.  I had a great time relaxing and doing fun things.  I hope you had a great weekend as well, filled with all the things you enjoy doing.  I am blessed with life, family and good friends – I am blessed!

I am focusing on the word “redeem” today.  When I think of the word “redeem” I think of those green S&H stamps we used to collect when I was a child.  We could collect these stamps into a book and use the books to buy things, depending on how many stamps and books we had accumulated.  It was great fun and we were able to get many things using those S&H stamps.

The word “redeem” means to pay off or buy back; to recover by payment.  For those of us who are Christians we believe Jesus Christ “redeemed” our lives by His sacrifice on the cross so many years ago.  This is the foundation of our faith.  When you think of redeemed, think of something being paid off, so no debt collectors have to call about a balance.  The payment was made in full!

Christ’s death was a completed work.  His sacrifice left nothing behind.  When He died He did it so that there would be no debt left unpaid – no stone unturned – no balance left hanging.  But do we live as if we have been “redeemed”??  Are there things about us which may still require a touch of Jesus’ redeeming power on them?  Yes, this is very true!  When there is sin in our lives often there are consequences as well.  Even if there is no consequence, there may be pain left behind from the event.  These things must be dealt with in order for our healing to be complete – for the “redeeming” work to take full effect on our lives, setting us free!

I have questions for you today.  I want you to spend some time meditating on these questions and the answers as they relate to your life.  Don’t spend a lot of time saying, “Oh, my friend ____ should be reading this right now – she has a problem with this”.  Well, you could send her the link and allow her to read the blog herself (the more the merrier) but I would rather you apply these questions to you first.  Allow them to wash over you and bring you to a place where God can speak to you concerning the answers to these questions.  Let God redeem you in every way.

·         Is there something in your heart right now which might block you from God?  Unforgiveness?  Hatred?  Selfish motives? Envy or Jealousy?  Bitterness?  Resentment?

·         Do you “feel” free?  As you consider this question, think about what is going on inside of you as you read and hear the word “free”.  Look up the word to get the full meaning – then see if the definition, as you understand it – applies to your heart, your mind and your soul.

·         How do you feel about you?  Is there love in your heart when you consider who you are, or something else?  What is that “something else”?  Can’t put a name to it right now?  Don’t worry – that is for a later time.

Final thoughts about “Redeem”:

ü  The concept of “Redeeming” as I have explained is an ongoing process.  Jesus’ work on the Cross saved us from an eternal punishment, but He is also here to help you mature through the pains of your past or the pain caused by the sin which had you bound.  He is not just concerned about the day you accepted Him, but every day afterward.  Let the maturing and healing begin!

ü  God is with you all the way.  No work you do for God (or because of God) is wasted.  He “redeems” it all, using every bit of it to bless you!

ü  It’s hard to look inward and see the truth about yourself.  No one really volunteers for this duty, but it is often necessary as we seek to grow up with God’s grace on our side.

ü  Don’t be discouraged by the things you may see.  It’s important to see them but also know you may only be taking a glimpse now.  The longer look is coming, but God is preparing you so that you can be ready.

ü  God is with you all the way!!!

Let me hear from you.  Email me Psalm139Designed@gmail.com.  You can also respond to this blog!

Have a great week – I am praying for you!

Replace - Can You Let Go??? Tea and Tuesdays Blog

Hello – It has been a couple of weeks but I have missed sharing with you.  I have been writing for my DMin work, getting those first two assignments done, but now that they are I can come back to sharing time with you and I love it.  I love doing this and sharing time with you – those who read my blog.

Still drinking and loving my "Oprah Chai" - it has a great flavor.

Today’s blog will continue the “Re-“ words I started exploring a few weeks ago.  This word is also interesting for a few reasons.  Usually replace means just that – you are about to transition from something old to something new.  What you had no longer works for you and has to be replaced.  The light bulb blew out in your lamp so you have to replace it with a new bulb. 

Replaced is also used in contexts and places which may not feel or seem right.  When my husband died someone actually said “don’t worry, you’re young, you can get married again” – basically, you can replace the old husband with a new one.  This is just not cool, since it must be known persons who die or leave us in various ways can’t just be replaced.  Those relationships are unique and can’t be exchanged for a new one.  Some items and persons in our lives serve a special purpose.  Replacing them would not be possible in many respects.

In Isaiah 61 the prophet Isaiah spent time speaking to God’s people about the year of the Lord’s favor.  In Isaiah 61:1-3 God is speaking about replacing things.  He is speaking about replacing what has been lost or destroyed for riches, peace and healing.  Specifically in verse 3 God says He will “bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes”.

I felt impressed tonight to share this with you – there are some things in your life right now which should be replaced with the goodness and grace of God.  God no longer wants you to limp along with what you have now, which is broken, useless and should be replaced.  You don’t have to live in the midst of ashes when you can have beauty instead.  Why would you choose to work with what is broken when the promise of something completely new is in front of you?  It’s as if your car has a flat tire and there is a brand new one in the backseat, yet you choose to continue to ride along on the flat tire.  Why?

God’s promises are sure and always good for us.  He promises healing and rejuvenation (another good “re-“ word!).  Consider what lies within your heart or the state of your life at this moment.  Is there something you can give to God that He can replace with beauty?  Give it to Him.

Once you do – please share with me.  You can email me directly if you don’t want to respond publicly to this blog.  My email address is (Psalm139Designed@gmail.com).

Let me hear from you!  God’s peace and joy until we speak again next week!  Be good to yourself – you deserve it!